Ace of Spades
by XxX Ryuuzaki-Chan XxX
Summary: Also on my DeviArt Matt makes a new online friend and their talks over the computer drives Mello nuts! So he leaves to cool off. But when he comes back... Oh no... Oh HELL no! Poor little Mello. Crack Fic! BlueStrippedSockehs is the Username Matt's friend


Ace Of Spades

A Short Death Note Story/Possibly could be continued if asked or I feel like it ;3/

Recently, Mello has not been in a good mood, including right now. He had his ears plugged with both of his fingers with a chocolate bar hanging out of his mouth, the plastic wrapper halfway off of it, his brow furrowed in an mix between anger and extreme irritation as he sat on the couch of the room he was sharing with Matt, them planning on how to catch Kira before Near did. On the other side of the room, with a head set on and a video game controller plugged into his laptop was Matt, yelling playfully at the person he was talking to with the head set, them currently playing some type of War game which you drove a plane, shooting at other enemy planes and blowing them up or bombing the enemies land. He had been playing online video games more often then usual ever since he met the user by the name of ..oO.x, her (from the voice coming out of Matt's speakers, he assumed it was female) managing to some how beat Matt in some type of online fighting game. Since then, he started to team up with this 'Sockeh' as Matt called them, or 'Aoi' (Mello assumed that was his mysterious online friend's real name). It didn't bother Mello at first, them talking by headsets like normal people…

Until 'Sockeh' learned about this manga called 'Fruit Baskets', proclaimed they should start talking to each other like, if Mello remembered the names right, Shigure and 'Aya' did to each other. Matt agreed to do so just to annoy Mello. First it was just a little bit, which didn't annoy Mello too much, but as their online friendship grew, so did the use of the 'Aya and Shigure' talk(As Mello liked to call it) also grew.

And it was driving Mello nuts. Especially today.

"Aghhh! Smokeh! I have been hit!" The Oh-So-Familiar voice of 'Sockeh' yelled out dramatically from Matt's laptop as shots and explosions from the game nearly drowned out her voice. "My darling Sockeh!! Are you wounded to badly!?" Matt said with a grin on his face, knowing that he was clearing annoying Mello, whom promptly turned up the television, taking a finger out of his ear first, then holding on to the chocolate bar as he took a bite out of it with a short 'Snap!'  
"Not yet, Smokeh, my love! But I may not be able to fight much longer~!" The female voice said, a fake whimper coming through the speakers. Mello cringed on how corny and annoying her and that danged whimper sounded. And at Matt's equally corny reply.

"Don't worry, Sockeh! I shall be your brave knight and keep you from harm!" Matt said, nearly choking on a laugh that tried to escape as he said it.

"Oh, Smokeh, you are too good to me!"

"Nothing is too good for you my darling Aoi~!" Mello grit his teeth, one of his eyebrows twitching. God…. why!? Why him!? What did he do to deserve such inhumane torture!!?

Obviously, God heard his constant pray to make them shut up that was running repeatedly though Mello's head was heard, for a minute later, the only sound was the T.V and the sound effects from the game Matt was playing. Sighing in relief, Mello rubbed his temples muttering 'Thank you God' under his breath. Oh, how he wished he hadn't misplaced his pistol or he would have shut up the stupid talk from them with it quite a few times. He took a large bite from his chocolate and watched the television. After a few minutes, he forgot about Matt and his strange online pal as he started to get in to the movie he was watching.

Until his concentration was shattered from Matt practically screaming after a loud explosion in his game, "No!! Sockeh, my love! Why did you do such a thing!?"

"It was either you or me Matt-kun! You hold too much of my heart to allow yourself to die at my defense!" Aoi cried from the speakers.

"Aoikoi*, I shall avenge your death!! No one kills my lover and gets to live!" Matt said with mock anger and bravery. Soon after that there was another loud explosion while Matt yelled "Die, you cruel hearted monster who dared to take my beloved Sockeh from me!"

There was a gasp from Matt's speakers and a strange dinging noise. "Smokeh, your valiant act and love for me has brought me back from the dark abyss of despair known as death! I got an extra life!" Aoi spoke through the speakers, sounding overly happy.

"Sockeh, love! I thought I had lost you and had to suffer through the rest of my life, knowing my death was caused because of me!" Matt cheered and, for a few seconds, removed his hand to place it on his forehead for a more dramatic effect, though Aoi had no way of seeing it, though, and annoyed Mello did and scoffed.

"Matt-kun, do you really mean that??" 'Sockeh' cooed.

"Of course I do Aoikoi! You hold my heart and soul in your beautiful hands!"

"Oh Matt-kun~!!"

"Oh Aoikoi~!!"

"Oh God!!" Mello nearly yelled in frustration, slapping his hand on his forehead. How long would he be forced to listen to this fake mushy-gushy crap!? Not only that, he realized, he had covered his head in slightly melted chocolate from his candy bar. "Chikusho!" He growled as he stood up, trying to wipe the chocolate off with the back of his leather gloved hand as he went to the bathroom to wash it completely off. Not only were they annoying the hell out of poor Mello, Matt and Aoi had caused him to become so frustrated he had ruined a perfectly good bar of chocolate since he dropped it on the floor out of surprise when he felt something gooey on his forehead. He had tried to tell him to shut up, but that just caused Aoi and Matt to team up on him in an insult contest to annoy him further. He had also tried to turn off Matt's laptop or mute the speakers, but Matt gave him such a look that Mello nearly had cardiac arrest from surprise, and then he threatened Mello that he would die such a horrible death that he would rather wish his soul would burn in the deepest, fiery pits of the Seven Circles of Hell for all eternity. Yes, Matt was rather touché when it came to his computer and video games. Mello didn't go near Matt for a week and refused to mess with Matt's electronics after that.

When Mello returned from the bathroom, two loud whoops came from Matt's side of the living room. "Aoi, my love, we have won this vicious war with both of us alive!" Matt said, on hand pumping up into the air, the other still holding the controller.

"I know! I am so happy, Lovely." Aoi cheered from the speakers.

"You know… we should celebrate…" Matt said with a sly tone to his voice, just as Mello returned to his seat on the couch in front of the T.V., propping his feet onto the coffee table in front of him.

"Hm… Too true, Smokeh dear…" Aoi crooned. "What do you have in mind?"

"I believe I must take you some where and… 'reward' you for taking that missile for me…" Matt said. The tone of his voice caused Mello's ears to perk up. Was Matt trying to sound… seductive!? And not only that, pulling it off as well!?!?

"Oh my! Smokeh, you naughty, naughty boy! Do you have your mind in the gutter, my darling?" Aoi said in a teasing voice. Mello nearly gagged on the new chocolate bar he was eating, that he conveniently found non-melted in his pocket when he sat back down on the couch, his eyes widening.

"Maybe…" Matt said in the same tone he used in his last sentence, "Do you want to find out, my lovely Aoi?"

"Hm… I don't know. I love you with all my heart, but knowing you, you tend to be a bit rough. I am still sore from last time Matt-kun." Aoi said, now copying Matt's seductive tone. Mello's face actually started to heat up and turn red as he started choking on his chocolate.

"Mmm… Don't worry, Aoikoi… I will let you whip me if I misbehave…"* Matt purred into the microphone of the headset.

A giggle came from the speakers, then Aoi said, "My, my, you are rather kinky aren't you Matt-kun…"

"Yeah, and I know you love it…" Matt growled, his smirk growling larger as he heard Mello trying to cough up the chocolate that was still lodged in is throat.

A purr came from Aoi as she said, "Too true, my love. You can read me like a book…"

"Of course I can. I know what turns yo-"

"SHUT THE –BLEEP- UP FOR GODS SAKE!!" Mello finally screamed after coughing up the chocolate, his face red from a mix of anger and embarrassment from listening to the strange conversation between the internet buddies. That caused a gasp from Aoi to come from the speakers.

"Smokeh, I heard another voice! Are you cheating on me with another lover!?" She said, obviously faking hurt in her voice.

Matt held in a laugh and, just to piss off Mello even further, ignored him by saying, "Of course not my love! Nothing can compare to your eternal, ethereal beauty and pure, loving personality that makes me want to melt every time you speak a single word to me~!!"

"Oh Matt-kun!! I am sorry for doubting you!" Aoi said, her sounding as if she was stifling a laugh as she faked guilt.

"Oh Aoikoi, you know I shall always forgive you!"

That was it. That was Mello's breaking point. "GOD –BLEEPING- DAMMIT! I AM GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE SO I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN YOU AND THAT DAMNED GIRL'S RETARDED LOVEFEST!" Mello roared as he grabbed his motorcycle keys, cussing up a storm at them, going to the coat closet afterwards, the sudden outburst startling Matt so much he dropped his game controller on to his lap. He then took a break in his cussing to tell Matt he would be back in a few hours, then slammed the door, muttering something about his pistol and Matt's laptop.

There was silence in the room for a while until Matt said, "Aoi… did you hear that?"

"Yeah…" She replied, them falling silent for about a minute.

Then they started to laugh like they had gone mad. Matt was hunched over his laptop, the controller forgotten on his lap as he held on to his stomach. "I-I can't believe… ahahahaha… we pissed him off so… hahahaha… much!" Matt said, barely managing to spit the sentence out of his mouth from laughing so hard.

"I know! Hahahahahahaha!! That was go… hehehe… gold! Pure… hehe… gold! I wish I could have… gahahahaha!! Seen his face!" Aoi said, laughing just as hard as Matt, or so it seemed. Then her laughter stopped, this causing Matt to also to stop laughing.

"Aoi??" He asked, tapping the microphone.

"I just had the best idea… I should come and visit you for a while, that way we can annoy your room mate even more!" She said, sounding dead serious. Matt gawked at the computer screen. Meeting Aoi… and annoying Mello all at the same time… He liked the sound of that…

"My lord… you are a genius! And to annoy him more you should stay here with me and Mello…" Matt said, cooing at the last part of the sentence. That earned a giggle from his online friend.

"Is Smokeh still wanting to reward me or are you serious…" Aoi purred.

Matt smirked, though no one could see it. "Maybe it's a bit of both…" He said. They both laughed at their inside joke that no one except them would understand. After a few minutes, they managed stop laughing; Matt cleared his throat and said, "Alright, back to business. How much cash you got?" There was some shuffling coming from the speakers, a few thuds and then an 'Ah ha!' in the background, showing she had taken off her headset to search for her wallet or where ever she kept her money in the room she was in.

There was a crackling noise as she replaced the headset on and said in a serious voice, "Where are you living?"

"Japan. Kanto region." Matt replied, faintly wondering why she was sounding serious.

There was a sigh from her end and she then said, "I have enough for a one way ticket there. So if this is to happen, you either got to be able to put up a room for me or be serious about me staying with you." Matt frowned slightly and closed his eyes, reaching into his pockets, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, placing a cancer stick from the pack and putting it between his lips, then opened his eyes as he lit the cigarette and took a long drag from it as he dropped the lighter on to the floor, not caring where it landed at the moment.

'I am alright with her staying here, but Mello won't like the idea of my wacky pal staying here… though…' he smirked after exhaling a puff of smoke. 'I could say I told her where we're staying and that I had no clue she was coming and that she wanted to surprise me. And if she stays and he can't take her staying here, he will probably pay for a hotel room for her to say in or at least a ticket back home.' Taking another drag from his cigarette, he exhaled smoke once again as he tapped the ashes off the cancer stick, them falling in a ash tray on the nightstand next to him, all the while Aoi silently waiting for him to reply. "Alright. Here is what I figured. Mello won't like you staying, but if you say you wanted to surprise me with a visit and that you didn't think ahead and didn't have enough for a hotel room. Either Mello will let you stay, put up a room for you or buy you a ticket home so you're not stranded here. So either way, we get to meet for a few hours at the least."

"Hai, but you know I am not that stupid. You know I am also investigating the Kira case for fun and came to close to the same conlusion you guys did, with a little details thanks to you." Aoi said.

Matt smirked and said, "True…" he pause to take another drag of the cigarette, breathing the out the smoke as he continued, "But Mello doesn't know that does he?"

Aoi was silent for awhile then she squealed happily, saying, "Perfect~! Gimme your address and I will log out and get packing immediately."

And so their evil deed was done as Matt told her their address and logged off after while leaning back in his chair, smirking as he finished his cigarette. Poor Mello was going to get a very unpleasant surprise indeed.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx – At the Airport – XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Matt waited some what nervously at the gates as people started to enter the Airport. Luckily, Aoi lived in a different region of Japan, so the flight for her was only three hours long. Why was Matt nervous? Because he just started to think of all the worse case scenarios that could happen, since meeting people over the internet was risky. Aoi's gamer profile said she was the same age as Matt, but she could really be some ugly, fat, forty year old perverted rapist. He raised an eyebrow to that thought. Aoi's wacky personality was defiantly rubbing off on him, for he was certain that was something Aoi would most likely think. He shifted his weight to his left foot from his right as he wish this was wasn't a non-smoking area. 'I need a cigarette now…' He thought and he sighed. He decided to surprise Aoi and pick her up… or not depending on what she turned out to be… just to be safe. Problem… how would he know it was her? He had no clue what she looked like. He instantly started to think of a solution.

Mean while, a girl with short, blue hair, the bangs falling some-what neatly on each side of her face, a white streak/patch through the left one, had her golden eyes focused on the address that she had quickly scribbled on to a cocoa stained paper towel. She pushed her way through the crowd, as she dragged her large, black rolling suit case, a cute panda backpack on her back, a star, which was lighting up, on its tummy. She stopped, making a few people trip trying to avoid her and mutter some rude things about the blue haired girl. She had some second thoughts about meeting Matt, but it was too late now. "Oh well… Here we go." She muttered and scratched her forehead, right under the goggles that was sitting there contentedly, the bright blue lenses reflecting some light from the lights from the ceiling. She had on what seemed to be black and blue sleeves tied to her upper arms with a white ribbon-like string, a black tank top that had inch thick arm straps and a collar that surrounded most of her neck, not revealing even her collarbone, and white, black and blue, baggy camouflage pants that were held on by a black studded belt, her black sandals on underneath her pants, though her pants covered her feet so it looked as if she had no feet. She nearly out of the crowd, which she was uncomfortably squished in, she heard something that surprised her.

"Blue Striped Sockehs." A familiar male voice called out.

"Oi! Coming!" She called out instantly, barely managing to wave her hand above the heads of all the people who crowded her. 'Damn my short stature!' she thought, surprised Matt was waiting for her here. She expected to see him when she got to his place. She then smirked realizing he was probably wanting to see what she was like and not some old perverted lady that wanted to rape him. She laughed at the thought, becoming distracted, thus ultimately getting pushed by accident and to fall out in front of the crowd, face first into the ground. She then raised her hand and lifted her head from the ground. "I am Sockeh." She said, starting to pull herself off the ground.

Matt watched as the blue haired girl plopped out of the crowd, landing face first into the floor, then raise her hand and head up, claiming to be Sockeh. He chuckled and was sure that was his online friend, Aoi, relived at the fact she was indeed his age and acted just as he expected her too. Not only that, she was pretty good looking, which was a pleasant surprise. 'Our plan will definitely work…' he thought, smiling then waved one arm in the air as 'Sockeh' started to look around. "Over here Aoi." He called as she looked at him, not sure if it was him. Once Matt had confirmed that he was indeed Aoi's online friend, she quickly walked toward him with a big grin on her face… this when Matt's brain decided to inform him that her feet could not be seen.

"Is that really my Smokeh?" Aoi said, now standing in front Matt, still smiling as she looked him over. "I gotta say, I am relived you are not some old rapist."

Matt chuckled and said, "I was thinking the same thing… but I am surprised you don't have feet…" He was obviously messing around due to the last comment he made.

Aoi smiled and said, "I got feet. They are just shy." That caused Matt to snort and laugh a bit. "Hey… where is your friend who we constantly annoy?" She then asked, looking around.

"Mello? He is still blowing off steam from our kinky little chat. Besides, we don't want him here, or the plan will be ruined." Matt said coolly, smirking at the memory from earlier. He heard Aoi say something that sounded like 'Oh yeah', her obviously easy to distract. "Better hurry and get back to the car and to my and Mello's place before he returns and our plan is ruined."

"Right!" Aoi said, then followed Matt out of the Airport and into the parking lot. After putting her luggage into the trunk they quickly got in the car, and after putting on their seatbelts, for Matt did not want to get pulled over for something as stupid as no seatbelt at the moment, and drove out of the parking lot and on to the freeway. This when another strange thought entered his head.

"Aoi… how come you came out of the gate with that large suit case when you should have gone to the conveyer belt to get your bags?" Matt said, zipping through the freeway, which, luckily, was practically devoid of any traffic, which was rather odd since they were so close to the airport.

"I made up an elaborate story, which involved a non-existent dying grandparent and very fragile, precious bric-a-brac* and a lot of fake tears." Aoi said, puffing her chest out and jabbing herself in the shoulder, showing she was proud of her excuse and act working.

Matt snickered and said, "Why did you go through all that trouble?"

"'Cause I packed meh baby in it. If anything ever happened to my lovely laptop I would slaughter someone." Aoi said, grinning brightly. Matt chuckled again, amused that she treated her technology like he did, very carefully. After about an hour of idle chatter and driving, they reached the place where Matt and Mello was staying. Matt informed Aoi that Mello's motorcycle was still not there, thus they arrived in time.

"We got lucky." Matt said as he unlocked the door and quickly ushered her in, her dragging her own luggage in for she refused to let Matt do it when he offered too. He entered the room, closing and locking the door behind him as Aoi looked around. "It isn't too big, but it isn't cramped either." Matt said.

"Yup! Just right!" Aoi said, then suddenly dove into her black rolling suitcase, pulling out a backpack that hand one strap like a large purse, but Matt knew it was a laptop carrier. She placed that on the table in front of the T.V., then looked over at Matt. "Smokeh! Where do you want my luggage?" She asked sweetly, skipping back over to her bags, Matt finding it kind of cute, in a childish way.

"Just make yourself at home. I will put them in my room." Matt said, grabbing on to the Panda backpack, which Aoi had carried in by hand, and on to the handle of the rolling luggage and starting to drag in into a small hallway, where room was. He heard Aoi giggle from the living room as he returned after putting away bags.

"Matt-kun's room, hm? Are you trying to say I will be sleeping there too?" Aoi purred, her golden eyes giving him a sly look from the couch, sitting where Mello had been previously, unbeknownst to the blue haired gamer. Matt smirked and walked over to Aoi, and took the seat next to her.

"Hm… if Sockeh wants too, I will gladly share my bed, if that is what you mean." He purred back, reaching out to wrap his finger around a white strand of hair, giving her a rather suggestive look. They then both burst out laughing, knowing that the other was clearly fooling around. Taking the remote from Sockeh, which earn him a pout, he flipped the channel off the cartoon station she was watching and to some random comedy show as they waited for Mello to return…

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX – Thirty Five Minutes later – XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Mello sighed as he turned the key in the ignition of his motorcycle as its purring motor stopped. He had been gone longer then he intended, but he had to take an hour and a half to calm down from earlier on in the day, then went to watch a movie that lasted two hours and fifteen minutes, went to by more chocolate bars, then got caught in traffic. Plastic bag in one hand, keys in the other, Mello made his way to where him and Matt were living. Loud explosions and gun shots could be heard from inside the room, followed by a sharp cry of, "Aoikoi! Look out my darling!" causing Mello to groan. He couldn't believe that Matt was still on his laptop talking to his strange friend and playing video games.

"He's going to have terrible eyesight at this rate…" Mello muttered as he unlocked the door, opening it, and entering the room. Something on the nightstand near the chair Matt was in earlier today caught his eye. It was a shiny black laptop with elaborate neon green stickers on it that made it look like a gothic Ace of Spades. 'I like Matt's new laptop cover…' He thought then froze as he looked in the chair that Matt had been sitting it. There, with a headset neatly on top of it, was Matt's laptop. 'But then… who…' He then went pale as a voice sudden spoke up.

"Nuuu! Matt-kun, my love! You are dying!" Aoi's voice's called out clearly. Too clearly. Mello looked over at the couch and gawked at the pair on the couch. Matt pause the Xbox 360 game they were playing and smirked, looking over at Mello.

"Look at this Mello. My lover came to give me a visit. Sneaky little surprise it was." He lied, Aoi wrapping one arm around Matt, a smile on her face as she waved at Mello with her free hand, having set the game controller on the coffee table in front of them.

"I couldn't resist my Matt-kun's smexy voice and had to seem my love in person." She cooed as she snuggled Matt, him returning the gesture by snuggling back.

"OH HELL NO!" Mello yelled looking utterly horrified, and then practically ran out of the room, screaming something about buying a new pistol. Aoi and Matt looked at each other, then separated from their embrace and laughed madly.

"Th-this is going to be my best trip ever!" Aoi choked out between laughs and then ended up rolling off the couch and onto the ground, her laughing so hard she didn't care she had just crashed into the floor.

"Y-yeah…" Matt agreed, holding his stomach, him sprawled out on the couch, his head hanging off the arm of it has he laughed with his so called 'lover'.

Yes this was the start of a beautiful, life long friendship for Matt and Aoi and a living hell for poor lil' Mello.


End file.
